Answered Prayers… Pt 4

OK, it seems like I’m a TV executive (maybe for LOST) trying to drag out a season finale for ratings…  I’m really not.  I just didn’t want to overwhelm anyone with the length of all I have to write.  So, here’s the LENGTHY conclusion!  I was going to break it up into parts, but the natives are restless…. Read it all! 

All these thoughts were still running through my head on Friday morning.  My question of the Lord was still, what is it you want me to do???  What is my role?  Where do you want us to go?

I sat down to my quiet time that morning.  As you may or may not remember, I’m doing the read through the Bible in a “year” (more like three four years because I stop and do other studies in the middle) where I read a bit of OT, Psalms, Proverbs and NT each day.  Mixes it up.  Well, my prayer before my QT was SPECIFICALLY for God to give me an answer to my question about my role.  Even if I didn’t get the whole answer, just something to give me a hint or some encouragement or a little bit of peace.

I flipped over to my OT testament reading.  It was interesting – about King David and people he hired or had killed or something.  I honestly can’t remember now.  It was actually very interesting reading history-wise, but not anything related to what I was searching for.  I finished those few chapters, and as I was flipping over to my Psalms reading, I prayed again. “God, please give me just something today, just a nugget even!” 

I flipped to Psalm 127.  I read verse 1:    Unless the LORD builds the house,
                                                                       its builders labor in vain.
                                                                       Unless the LORD watches over the city, 
                                                                       the watchmen stand guard in vain.

Wow, THANK YOU God I prayed.  God has to build our house, a reminder He’s in charge, don’t try to fix this ourselves.  I stopped and wrote the verse down in my journal as I do other verses as they impact me.  It helps me meditate on them more to write them too.  I studied it a bit, prayed through it, and really thanked God for what I consider to be a life verse for our family now.  Whew!  Thanks God!  (I actually painted it on a wall this week…)

Then, I read verse 2 which is about not working without rest and not spending time with family.  I then read the rest of the chapter, verses 3-5.  I’d read them a hundred times before, but it answered and touched on every single thing I’d been questioning.  Of course that portion of the Word came to life like nothing else that day.  It was what God had set aside for me for that day!  If you haven’t read Parts 1-3 on this subject, you won’t get it either, but if you have, think about all those pieces that have come before:

Psalm 127:3-5:       Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
                                  children a reward from him.

                                  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
                                  are sons born in one’s youth.

                                            Blessed is the man
                                  whose quiver is full of them.

                                 They will not be put to shame
                                 when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

My jaw almost dropped! I don’t know why – why would I be surprised at my Lord who is so good to me? 

Just as I had talked about children needing to be appreciated…. there was a verse that reminded me so.  A man with children is blessed!

I then read the comments down at the bottom of the page.  Get this:  “Too often children are seen as liabilities rather than assets.  But the Bible calls children ‘a heritage from the Lord’, a reward.  We can learn valuable lessons from their inquisitive minds and trusting spirits.  Those who view children as a distraction or nuisance should see them instead as an opportunity to shape the future.  We dare not treat children as an inconvenience when God values them so highly.”  ….. Wow!  Could that line up more perfectly???

I was blown away and feel God pointed out some key points to me throughout this past week:

1)  Children ARE a reward, and a heritage.  My goodness, THIS is my big deal.  THIS is my circle of influence.  THIS is my big meaning in life – at least for now.  I prayed for God to send me anywhere; I would do ANYTHING!  Yet He wants me to focus on where I am.  Isn’t that the way we are a lot of times?  We feel like we need to be doing this or that when God just wants us right where we are?  It wasn’t an issue of contentment as I’ve struggled with before.  This time it really was more of, life just seems to good right now.  It seems to good to be at home with my babies, to be at our home church, to be near family.  I am completely thrilled with my life right now so something might be wrong with my life???  Surely there was some other sort of KINGDOM work that I should be doing?

But, I have two precious children to shape and model and influence for the Lord Jesus my King!  What more important kingdom work is there than to put my two precious babies out into the world to influence their OWN circle – even if that does mean sending them to kindergarten?!?  I do have to let go.  I do have to let them mature.  It is hard, but it is my purpose.  And, I need to be there with them to shape them and defy all that the world is trying to shove down their throats!

I have been a mother now for four years and three months.  To the day.  It has taken me this long, until this week, to realize the importance of my job.  My job of mother has always been, I’m a mom and…. (insert something – leadership role, part time job, position at church, etc.).  Now, to be fair, my insert something was NEVER because I felt inadequate “just” staying home and have never felt that I needed to justify or validate that role to anyone.  I loved staying home.  But, I just needed/wanted something else to be doing.  Now, that is natural in a sense.  You do need an outside life.  I enjoy ministering in other areas, and I feel God has called me to those too.  I’m not talking about hobbies either.  I’m talking about priorities.  I have not seen my role as mother as being important.  I have not placed SHAPING and MOLDING my children for the Kingdom as an importance.   I’ve known my children as a priority, but I just saw it I think as regular – everybody does it.  There are millions of women doing it all over the world.  BUT, not everyone does it for the Lord.  Oh!  But, don’t we need women raising their children FOR the Lord???!!!!  Who are focused and driven that their children may influence the future?

More often than I’d like to admit, I spend precious children time doing housework, on the computer, flipping through the magazine or newspaper, scrapbooking, sewing, talking on the phone, anything other than sitting down, playing, laughing, and being a part of my two heritage’s lives. 

I want to stress that this is not just simply an I’m-coming-back-to-being-a-stay-at-home-mom-change-of-heart-I-can-appreciate-it-now-because-I’ve-been-gone kind of attitude change.  I cannot express to you how DEEP this realization is.  It’s a slap in the face for me yet also a lift for my spirit.  I’ve always known and believed the role of mothers is good and valid.  I just now see it as critical, life or death, kingdom impact work!  What could be more important right now than teaching my children?  Now, please, this would be the same conviction if I was working next year or not.  This has NOTHING to do with whether a woman works or not.  It’s the importance that we place on our relationship with our children and making our time with them intentional.

An even greater stab in the stomach question – Do I want to be at home for me or for them?  Really.  I think sometimes a lot of me wanting to be home is for me.  I like not working, I like having things done at the house the way I like them.  I like getting to see my friends more.  I like naptime.  Do I want to stay home to SERVE?  Do I want to spend the majority of my possible moments doing kingdom work?  I have to admit, my wanting to be home is at times for selfish reasons.  It’s just easier – it’s nice being home. 

Wrong attitude God, I’m so sorry!  I want to SERVE!  Check my heart on that Lord.  Make me servants to my children in a biblical way!

2) “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is FULL of them!”  Okay, so maybe God does want us to have more children?  But here God, I have a long list of why NOT to have more: 

We have two bedrooms with a boy and girl already – how would we do the nursery?  If we have a girl, Katie Beth at 17 would be sharing her room with a 12 year old or so – annoying!  That’s not best for them!  Is it?

We have things we want to do as a family that we can’t do with a baby.  If I have four or more children, will I be able to really give them the time and attention they need?  I will be able to better shape them if we have less, right?

I want to go camping, running, and sleep in on Saturdays!  Our kids are just now ALMOST able to be self-sufficient on Saturday mornings for a couple of extra hours of sleep – why mess that up?  I want my life back!  I don’t want to have morning sickness and puke for four or more months!  I don’t want swollen feet!  I hate maternity clothes – especially winter ones!  I don’t want to go 8 months or more without a full night’s rest!  Babies are cute – I’ll hold someone else’s if they need me to, but I don’t personally ACHE for one!

I’ve finally just lost some weight – really?  Get pregnant?

College tuition – need I say more?  Not to mention clothes and school supplies and camps and activities and sports and cars and whatever else for all those kids!  We need to be good stewards – we sure can’t afford FOUR!

And then, as I was telling God my list of reasons why I didn’t need anymore arrows in my quiver, I looked down again at the commentary, “Those who view children as a distraction or nuisance should instead see them as an opportunity to shape the future.”  Okay, so I looked down my nose at those people who view their children as getting in the way of their drug sales, “night jobs”, and who knows what else lifestyle – what priorities!  But, wasn’t I doing the same?

When I don’t want to have more children because I don’t want to gain weight, I want to run the marathon and won’t be able to, because I need sleep, because I don’t like maternity clothes, because I want to go camping, because I wonder how it will work with our budget, because I don’t know how to do a nursery and I refuse to move EVER again???  THOSE are reasons NOT to have children????  Aren’t those all inconveniences?  Aren’t I just the same as the parents I looked down upon??? YES!  Oh Lord, forgive me! 

I see my children as a nuisance at times.  I don’t think of it so directly, but isn’t it the same?  If I’m trying to hear something on TV and one of them is trying to tell me a story and I shush them, isn’t that making them an inconvenience?  If I ignore them while I’m online, am I making them an inconvenience?  My blessing from the Lord – hey you be quiet – I’m watching the season finale of the Bachelor???  Really??  Is that how God desires me to treat my heritage? 

I’m going to turn down the opportunity to have more children that could impact the kingdom and lead people to Christ because I want to go sleep in an uncomfortable tent and pee in the woods? 

Quite honestly, I don’t know what the Lord really wants for us as far as more children.  But, I’m open to it now.  If he wants us to have eight, I’m there.  You can call us the Baptists on Catholic birth control!    I might be crazy, but nontheless… LOL! 

However, these experiences very well may have been that God just wants me to be open to anything.  I was more open to going to Turkey or anywhere across the world by tomorrow in my prayers than I was having another baby.  That was an almost no way issue for me.  NEVER should we have no way issues with God.  God constantly works on me with that.  I’m glad he pointed that out!

Do I think all women need to have tons of babies according to the scripture?  NO!!!!  Do all women need to even have babies?  NO!  I know lots of successful, single or childless women who are DEFINITELY blessed.  I firmly believe that for different reasons, God wants some women with and without kids.  God has different purposes and plans for each of us! 

3) As Brother David said Sunday morning, it is our responsibility as parents to LOVINGLY influence our children with spiritual truths.  We must put them in an environment where they will be successful.  Eph 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  Bring them up in a Christian environment, bring them up in training and instruction – put scripture in their minds, discipline as we are called to, model for them the behaviors they are to imitate.

That kind of sums it up.  My prayer on Sunday after the sermon and during the song, “Today” (Today, I choose, to follow you, etc.) was this: 

I will no longer belittle the role that is so important in my family.  May I POUR my life into these precious little ones you have BLESSED me with.  May I take advantage of EVERY MOMENT I have to shape them for your future and your kingdom.  May I be different – noticeably so – to my children and husband.  May this commitment stay in the forefront of my mind throughout everyday!

I write all of this in such detail in part because it is a form of accountability for me.  Writing it on here makes it a little more public.  I’m serious about this commitment, and I’d love to hear any thoughts you might have on any of these topics!  And cherish those babies for those that have them.  And, all of us, male or female must look at what things in our heart we have “closed down” to the Lord.