My quiet time last night was on God’s righteousness and justice.  Sometimes I don’t like to think about those characteristics of God.  Accepting that everything God does is right, fair, and just means that some of the really hard situations of my life, and friends’ lives, are right – they are exactly what God wants.  Which means I have to accept that.  

We have some friends from seminary, the Ashers, that have been through a major battle with infertility.  The not fair #1.  After years of struggling, God allowed them to adopt child #1, to get pregnant (!) with child #2, and now they are in the middle of adopting their third child.  The road has been so so long for them, but their testimony and faith through it has been amazing.  Daniel, the sweet baby boy, was born early and is fighting for life in the NICU.  The not fair #2.  Our friends have been out to California (they live in TX) a couple of times already to see him; he’s already theirs in their hearts.  Last night they got a call from the birth mom that she’s changing her mind.  The really not fair #3.  We’re all praying for a resolution to this.  Their facebook status last night said this:  *** URGENT PRAYER REQUEST *** Friends and family, Catherine just received a phone call from Daniel’s birthmom saying that she has changed her mind. We are calling on all of our friends to pray – right now – for a resolution. We do not want to take someone’s baby from them, but we entered into this adoption with good faith that it was her intention to place him for adoption.

So I’m praying for a resolution.  I WANT to pray that this baby would be the Ashers’.  It should be, right?  But, it would mean praying for a mother to give up her child.  But, I can’t pray in my heart for our friends to be denied a child that already seems to be theirs.  I know that God’s will must be done, and He already has a plan in this.  I’m praying for a solid and quick decision, for wisdom on all their parts, and that God to be glorified.  As a momma, I can identify with our friends and the birth mom too, although I don’t know her situation.  I know she is not saved, so I’m praying for her salvation most of all - pray with me!  But in my heart, I’m just broken for my sweet friend Catherine.  Oh, she is just an amazing girl of amazing faith that has talked recently about her love for this birthmom and her desire for her to know Christ.  So how in the world God would THAT be fair?  Not for Catherine and Jeremy God…

So shortly after hearing this news came my quiet time last night.  And what was it on? God’s justice. 

Deut 32:4 “He is the Rock; his deeds are perfect. Everything he does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright He is.”

Jer 9:24 “But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!”

Ps 89:14 “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.”

I slept last night with the Ashers on my mind and heart, and the words from last night’s scripture ringing through my dreams.  It was a praying, restless sleep all night.  I know, because God’s word tells me so, that He is just, He is righteous, and that justice and righteousness are coupled with his unfailing and steadfast love.  God’s justice and righteousness are paired with love!  My prayer is that God’s justice will be upheld in this situation, that He will be glorified, but equally important, that His love will cover over both families in an undeniable way.

Everything is not fair here on Earth.  But, oh, when we get to heaven:  “As I kept watching, thrones were set in place, and the Ancient of Days took His seat… Thousands upon thousands served Him; ten thousand times ten thousand stood before Him. The court was convened, and the books were opened” Dan 7:9,10  Oh wow, nothing gets me going like that!!!  I can’t wait to see that picture of the Lord sitting, waiting, with servants all around him, everyone waiting for the Lord’s justice.  Can you imagine that moment?  That exact moment????  Oh, wow!  Because then my friends, every knee will fall – there will really and truly be NO more injustice – no orphans, no murders, no abused wives or children, no innocent casualties of war, no refugees forced from their homes, no false accusations, no deaths that were too soon, no unscrupulous politicians, no homeless, and the list could go on.

• I had to go buy a fire extenguisher today.  We need one for our home study which is TOMORROW!!!  The exciting part is that once we have our visit, she writes up her report, she’ll send it to Gladney, and we’ll be a lot closer to mailing off everything to Ethiopia!!  And I guess we are now prepared for a fire…
• Why is it that the news anchors always ooh and aah when showing a building that was imploded?  I really don’t even understand why those keep making it on the news.  But, the news people ooh and aah like that haven’t seen a hundred before.
• Reading this week in the chapter of Hebrews.  Interesting book.  More on that later.  Lots of it marinating in my head.
• I’m debating a half marathon in the spring.  Of course I was debating a 5K on Thanksgiving too and since I haven’t started running for that yet, it’s probably out.  Lessons learned from the marathon this past spring:  don’t sign up (and pay) way in advance, don’t run a race you haven’t trained for, and well, maybe just don’t run marathons period.  I may just be lazy through the holidays and start with all the other January peeps.  Or I may not start at all.  I have a choice because I am NOT on a training program right now.  That’s a lovely feeling.
• Speaking of needing to run, one of the blogs I regularly read had a post about peppermint Hershey’s kisses.  Never heard of such a thing.  Put it it right out of my mind.  Until I saw them today at Target.  Now that was just too much of a coincidence, right?  They were almost right in my path.  I mean I should at least try a few, right?  Ten pieces of later maybe I’m still trying to figure out if they are good.  Or maybe I. Can’t. Stop.  Thanks Renee.  Thanks a lot. 
• I thoroughly enjoyed our balmy spring-like weather earlier in the week, but I’m loving the cool rainy weather.
• I hate starting Christmas before Thanksgiving.  I really do.  But in said Target there were some Christmas carols playing as I was walking past Christmas decor and ahem, the Christmas candy, and I got a little surge of Christmas spirit.  I’m going to try and hold it off until after Thanksgiving.
• I have about six loads of laundry to fold.  All clean.  Probably all wrinkled by now.  I hate that.  It always tempts me to just wash them again to avoid ironing so many of them.  The Underhills rarely pull out an ironing board – it is NOT my spiritual gift.  My mother would be appalled.  She would be REALLY appalled to see all the wrinkled clothes we’ll be wearing for the next week or so.  I may have to listen to my Christmas playlist while I fold…

A Prayer/Pledge of Responsibility for Children
Adapted from Ina J. Hughes

We pray (accept responsibility) for children
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.

And we pray (accept responsibility) for those
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who can’t bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
who never “counted potatoes”,
who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.

We pray (accept responsibility) for children
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

And we pray (accept responsibility) for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents die,
who can’t find any bread to steal,
who don’t have have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,
whose monsters are real.

We pray (accept responsibility) for children
who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghosts stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed, and never rinse out the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don’t like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church or temple and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at
and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray (accept responsibility) for those
whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren’t spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.

We pray (accept responsibility) for children
who want to be carried
and for those who must,
for those we never give up on
and for those who don’t get a second chance.
For those we smother…
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

Monday morning we had our 2nd homestudy meeting at Catholic Charities.  I highly recommend them if you’re in the area – we’ve loved them!  It went well.  It was separate interviews for about 20-30 minutes each.  She mainly asked us about things we had already written down on the paperwork we’d turned in, but I know if I was a social worker, I’d believe it a lot more watching someone say it than seeing it written on paper.  Anyway, the questions went well.  I went first and then Jason, and she kept telling Jason that I had said the same thing.  So that was funny. 

One of the biggest things where I kind of felt like she was wondering about us is she asked what we do in our free time.  I (and Jason) both said we play games, watch DVR’d shows, or play tennis on date nights (I know, exciting, right?).  She then asked what I did in my spare time just alone.  I said I really didn’t do that much on my own as we were so busy in our areas of ministry, etc. that when it came down to free nights we don’t really go out and do a lot of girls or guys nights out.  I said we really do enjoy spending time with the kids.  It felt like I was trying to give the superficial homestudy-approved answer, but that is really what we do.  We’re major homebodies when we have the option.  I tried explaining our ministry schedule and then reiterated that if I have extra time on my hands, I’m usually going to do something like volunteer at the school or do some ministry thing.  Like what else is there to really DO?  It was kind of funny.  Jason said the same things though!  She did finally ask if I had friends – I laughed and explained we really do have a good solid small group that we are great friends with, we have a family over to dinner at least every other week to hang out, I have girls that I do stuff with, I’m just not a goer-doer.  That seemed to satisfy her.  It’s different being 33 with three kids than it was at even 28  or so with one.  Vastly different.

Tuesday I mailed off our FBI fingerprints for some kind of clearance from them.  And dumb Memorial Day today – don’t get me wrong, I love that we honor our veterans and think we should do MUCH MUCH more to thank them - but it would have been very convenient had the post offices been open today – at least for an hour!  I’m mailing off all of our Gladney paperwork tomorrow!  CRAZY!

I love how many people are asking about the adoption.  I love that people are interested, and I love to hear that people have thought about it themselves.  I’m not saying everyone is called to it, but I love hearing someone is and seeing how their hearts are being changed towards it.  It’s so exciting to see God moving in that way! 

The comment I hear hands down more than ANY OTHER THING is this:  “Well, I really would love to adopt.  I really think I could.  But, my husband just isn’t ready – he’s just not quite there yet.”  So many times it’s the finances.  As far as numbers go, I’m more of the money worrier.  One friend said when they talk adoption that her husband just sees dollar signs.  I was a little like that.  Jason is so laid back he doesn’t worry about anything, so he’s good for me. 

My advice is to just keep praying, sit back, and let God work on your husband.  But, I also think it’s important to keep the dialogue going about where your heart is.  It doesn’t have to be a long tirade everytime, but I think it’s important our husbands know what’s on our hearts.  If we don’t talk about it at all anymore, they may think we’re not interested.  Their thoughts may go something like this:  “She used to talk about adoption all the time!  I was praying about it for a while, but she hasn’t talked about it at all lately so I guess she’s okay with not doing it.”  You know?  There’s just a fine line between nagging and sharing your heart while patiently waiting for God to change his.  I think it’s also a good idea if his worry is finances to do some heavy research and come up with a plan to present to him when the time is right.

I had a moment today in the grocery store where I just had the boys that I thought, four kids?  Impossible!  Nolan right now is a holy terror in the grocery store.  He loves when the cart gets filled up so that he can twist around, grab any item he can touch, and toss it as far as he can!  Everett was the hugest best big boy helper, and I was so thankful for him.  It just seems that the two times when I get overwhelmed with the kids and think I can’t do it is at the grocery store (sometimes) and all the times (mainly Sunday mornings) when I have the kids by myself to get ready and get to church.  Why are Sunday mornings so much harder than any other time?  Aside from those two times, I’m rarely overwhelmed with the numbers.  I actually love the chaos of the house just because I know in a few short years the chaos will be gone and I’ll miss it.  The chaos is a reminder of the blessings we have!  Whew!  God has worked on us adding kids one at a time.  I didn’t think I could do two at the grocery store and church.  Then I thought three was impossible.  And now when I think about the four, I only worry for a second because I know I can at this point.  So being at peace with four makes me wonder if we’ll be done then or if God will call us to more.  In my head, I think I would probably like to adopt again.  But who knows – only One and I know He’ll guide us clearly!

Wow, that was random ramblings.  Goodnight!!

I used to do these a lot, but quit for a while.  I like reading other people’s bits and pieces, so maybe a few of these will entertain YOU for a bit!

• We had a snake in our garage Wednesday night.  Our dog was going crazy at something under the van, and sure enough a snake was coiled up hissing and pouncing at him.  But, it got away and I was totally freaked by where it could be lurking.  Then yesterday, we happened to be pulling in the driveway when it was slithering across the road.  I slammed on the brakes, Jason got the shovel, and it was soon no more.  I attribute that timing to the Lord saving me from months of not letting the children play in the garage or outside.
• I want to read the Kite Runner – heard it’s a good one about a refugee family.  Any opinions – book vs. movie?  I’m such a cheapo that I’ll have to borrow either one.
• We have our second homestudy meeting on Monday morning at 9 am.  We will turn in paperwork and then have individual interviews that last about 45 minutes each.  Kind of makes me nervous – you can ask a lot in 45 one on one minutes!  After that, we’ll have a final visit at our house and then should be wrapped up – with the homestudy at least!
• Jason and I spent about two hours at the county jail today waiting to get fingerprints.  It was interesting.  They were super busy in booking – hence the wait.
• I keep debating camping this weekend, but just haven’t mustered up the time and energy to pack it all up yet.  We are going to have to have a park day on Saturday I think.  My parents were great about always taking us on day trips to the state parks – some of my best childhood memories!
• So many at our church are just ON IT and stepping it up when it comes to meeting people’s actual needs through local missions – it’s exciting to watch and get to participate in!  I love seeing Christ’s hands and feet at work through his church.  Nothing is more beautiful.
• Fashion faux pas of the week – a girl wearing a sweater vest with no shirt underneath – like a wooly tank top.  Odd.  And today we saw a guy wearing UGGS – you know, like the girl boots.  Do they make guy UGGS?   I’m no fashionista by any means, but that seemed not quite right!
• I’m probably going to have to start getting up at 4:45ish again if I want to start working out.  It’s just too hard to do during the day!  And I’m getting way out of shape.  I am NOT getting on any running plan plan – it makes me hate running.  But, I do want to run a Thanksgiving 5K and possibly try the HALF marathon this next spring.  (I did the full this last year and it was MI-SER-A-BLE!)  But, I’m going to run when I want and I am NOT paying early for the race either!  That way I can back out at anytime!
• Happy Friday!!!

I just found this site today.  It’s called Rainbow Kids, and it has a listing of kids that need homes.  There are literally pages and pages of kids from America to Asia to Africa to Europe on here from various agencies and of various ages that need homes.  You just do a quick sign up process that’s free, they email you a link, and then you’re on.

There are so many older children waiting for homes.  Many countries - Africa I know of especially – that have healthy children that also have no special needs or behavior problems whose only barrier to being adopted is that they they are older than a baby.  Jason and I cannot adopt older children because we have three younger children and the advice is to keep your birth order as much as possible.  Some don’t agree with this, but we’re going to go with those rules as close as possible because most of the experts advise it.

And don’t discount special needs kids!  So many of them have a heart problem that can be fixed, missing limbs or fingers and toes, disorders that can be easily treated with medication, or other “smaller” disabilities.  And anyone who has seen the face of a Downs child or other of the more severe special needs cases knows that these kids are always a joy to be around!

Part of me when looking through those pictures is already looking forward to when our kids are all older and we can adopt an older child as well.  I saw a profile this morning of 9 and 11 year old (I think those ages are right – somewhere around there) girls who receive awards in schools because they are so bright, are healthy, and are just waiting for parents.  They had big huge smiles with glowing, excited, giggly looking faces.  They just don’t have parents.  Any child over the age of 3 is considered to be an “older child”.

That goes for the States too.  You can check this site to look at photolistings for US children.  There are so many listings of older black children (older again being about age three and up) who are simply waiting for parents who live in our country. 

If your kids have moved out or are in middle/high school, consider adopting a child anywhere from three years old on up!  What are you doing with those extra bedrooms anyway???  These kids desperately need homes and unfortunately know more about what it going on with not having parents than the younger ones can understand.

I would just really challenge you not to limit God in any area of this.  Don’t discount adoption as an option.  Don’t discount any countries – including America or a country with kids of a different race.  Don’t discount any ages.  Don’t discount any physical characteristics.  And don’t discount siblings.  I challenge you even if you have NO desire or inkling to adopt to just say, “Ok God, I’m willing if you want me to.  I don’t have any desire or leading to do so, but if you want to change my heart, make it clear.”  God may not lead you towards that and give you peace about not adopting.  OR, he just might be waiting on your heart to soften just a tad in order to finally get you to listen to what He’s been trying to tell you for years.  Just ask, listen, and keep your heart open!

I saw the lyrics to this song today and thought it was a good one to share – regardless of whether you’re waiting for an adoption, waiting to get off of bedrest (JEN!), waiting for answers to a prayer – whatever it is you’re waiting for – it’s a good song to pray through!

WHILE I’M WAITING
by John Waller
 
I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

Just wanted to attach a few garage sale pics so you can get an idea of how much we had to sell!  WOW!  This was a huge huge blessing – thanks to ALL of you who donated.  And again, we made $1800 to cover our home study – our first step.  Our donation level is up to $2999 (funny huh?!?) so we are just $2000 away from meeting our $5000 matching challenge from our friends – due by Christmas!  Super exciting!

I also included a picture of our stack of our INITIAL paperwork.  I have it all in color coded folders each including it’s own to do list.  But there will be more paperwork to come.

A big step for us today – we actually mailed off our USCIS paperwork and checks.  Basically it goes to the Department of Homeland Security to get approval from the US to adopt an international child.  That’s all.  A piece of paper, a few birth certificates, and apparently review of that can take up to 10 weeks and costs $670… government!    Then we pay $160 for an appointment to get fingerprinted by the big guys.  But, that doesn’t include the fingerprinting we also have to do through the FBI.  Totally separate – same fingerprints, but one agency won’t take them from the other agency. Odd.

I’m so NOT complaining, just letting you know some of what we are doing.  I think it’s really interesting all the things they ask for.  I’m thankful that they care enough to be particular about who they allow to adopt.  We are going to also send off this week the first section of our Gladney paperwork and another set of money ($1875).  This first section includes another more in depth application with financials, work and insurance info for Jason, some waivers, etc.  We got our doc appointments completed for Jason and I, but I have to also call and get clearance from our pediatrician that the kids are healthy.

So, that’s where we are.  Totally excited to be jumping in!  The homestudy wasn’t as much of a true act of obedience because we still weren’t really financially/paperwork commited to adopting NOW or Gladney or Ethiopia.  But, now that we are sending this first batch in, it means we’re really really doing it!

Everett has been asking a lot of questions about why we are adopting.  He was a little irritated that we had to drive to the post office today to mail off our USCIS stuff – he is my MAJOR homebody and wanted to be home playing.  I began explaining that we were going to have another baby anyway because Mommy and Daddy wanted at least one more child.  He interrupted and muttered from the backseat, “I didn’t want another baby!”  I reminded him how excited he had been before.  He said, “Well, yeah, but I just wish you would go get her right now.”  Yeah babe!  Little Everett is apparently over all the work of an adoption.

Katie Beth was very excited to go mail it off though.  She asked if we finally had enough money to get her, and I explained that we didn’t yet, but that God had given us enough to do this part so that’s what we were going to do.  I think I’m going to draw them a chart or something so they can see how much farther we have to go.

What does the word “refugee” conjure up in your mind?  Do you really know what a refugee is or what that means?  I didn’t!  I was shocked to find out a whole area of our world that I was so CLUELESS about!  I sent this email to a friend this morning, and I thought I would post it here.  These are the basics, look for more to come!

World Relief is an AMAZING organization. They work with refugees. FYI, an immigrant is someone chooses to come to live in America – often for good reasons, but they don’t have to leave their country.  BUT, a refugee leaves their home country because their life is in danger due to war, discrimination based on race, religion, etc, or other life-threatening reasons. Often they flee first to a refugee camp where many of them will actually spend the rest of their lives as there are so many refugees and not nearly enough places for them to go. The refugee camps have horrible and dangerous living conditions. Getting out of the camp fast could mean a timeline of a couple of years if you are lucky. Many are born and die in the camps. Those that are allowed to resettle apply to the United Nations who has countries all over the world to resettle the refugees. Refugees do not choose the city nor the country they resettle in – they are assigned.

World Relief is one of two agencies in the Nashville area (and they have offices in other areas of the world/country as well) who has been named by the UN as being able to resettle refugees. (The other is Catholic Charities.) The great thing about WR is that their specific mission is to equip the CHURCH to serve the most vulnerable. Their whole mission is to connect churches and refugees. The refugee flies from the camp they’ve been living in, gets off the plane in Nashville, and World Relief is there to meet them. They have an apartment rented out for them, have food and other household items stocked for them, offer job training, help with learning English, learning American systems of banking/grocery stores/school systems, etc. World Relief is not a handout agency though – the refugees are expected to be self-sufficient within 6-8 months – World Relief is not allowed by law to assist them after that time period. This is where getting them connected to a local church is huge.

The thing that gets me is that many of them fleeing the dangerous areas are families. People with kids ages of ours. Can you fathom? Many times the parents have had great jobs in their home country - doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc. But, when they get here they do not have our certifications or training or even language – they have to start all over. And, they need it mostly down in 6-8 months! I’m definitely praying about what God would have me do in this – I have some ideas, and I’m the World Relief advocate for our church. Check out the Operation Crazy Love blog, the national World Relief site,  or the Nashville World Relief site for more info.  I can let you know what opportunities are available as well – as I said look for more here soon!

Jason and I recently had a date morning with Katie Beth.  Her one request was to go to iHop.  She’s been asking to go forever, and as frugal as we’re trying to be lately, sometimes you have to have some extras.  We sat down to look at the menu, and I saw this menu entree which made my heart sink and my stomach sick.  This is a brunch item at iHop that comes with steak, two or three eggs, two bacon slices, two sausages (this person opted for skipping the bacon and doubling the sausage), two pancakes, and potatoes.  It was somewhere around 12ish dollars I think.  (This picture was just one I found online, not anything we ordered.)  I sat there just thinking and thinking and got a little teary-eyed.  It kind of brought together everything God has been speaking to my heart lately.

Why did it make me sick and my heart drop?  My first thougth was Biggest Loser.  We had just watched it the night before and they had gone out to eat and were analyzing the nutritional value of restaurant food.  I thought Jillian would have a hissy fit if she could see that.  It is suprising to me that someone actually orders and eats all of that food in one setting??  Good grief!

But then my immediate follow up thought was, What an African family wouldn’t do for that amount and variety of food!  They’d stretch it out over a week if they could - many of them will NEVER eat like that – even spread out over a week or a month!

Now don’t think if I’m out and see a spread like that before you that I’ll be judging you!  I’m all for good food and induldge myself too often – let’s not even mention the batch of no bake cookies that have disappeared so quickly at my house.  And nobody else at my house really likes them… hmm…

But, God is really working on me with generosity. Our pastor is doing a great series on this right now called Generous Living – my favorite sermon so far has been How to Be Rich.  Sit and watch it if you have a few minutes.  It really puts into perspective how much we really have.

I’m going to be really honest here.  I’ve never been a big giver.  We do give regularly to our church for an amount that is sacrificial for our family.  But, I wish we were giving more.  We do plan to give more as God gives us more, but it’s not going to be skyrocketing anytime soon with saving for an adoption and paying off debt.  But, it has been mine and Jason’s goal for our entire marriage to use whatever we have for God’s glory and for ministry purposes. 

However in the past when we have gotten things that ask us to donate money – anything that goes above and beyond what we already do (like people going on mission trips, someone adopting, a need that has come up, etc.,) I haven’t even really considered it.  We don’t have anything to give.  We just don’t.  I pray for them, I encourage them, and I support them in other ways if possible.  But, I’m usually not giving monetarily.  I’ve also been selfish with my time.  Three kids and working a couple or three contract jobs plus the areas I serve is not easy to manage.  But, could I give a little more of my time?  I could.

One thing that’s been huge for me in this adoption process is learning to accept things from others.  It’s hard for me.  I talked about it here, and I’m still in awe that God is teaching me a lesson through this about receiving.  But, God is also teaching me about giving.

Through the sermon series, small group lessons, discussions with friends, and lots of talks with God, my heart is changing.  Jason and I are already trying to save every penny we can with the adoption so we are rethinking all that we do and things we can do without that we thought were needs – the “extras” we don’t really need.  Which makes me think that I could have been giving at least something all along.  But even still, those small sacrifices don’t add up to much, or do they?

I’ve always thought that sending someone a $25 or $50 or $100 check when they were trying to raise tons of money was almost like a slap in the face, a drop in the bucket, mainly useless.  But, anything we’ve been given – from $25 to $250 is all the same to us encouragement wise!  Obviously the larger amounts get us to our goal quicker, but the fact that someone is willing to remember what we’re doing, believe in it, want to support us, and take the time to sit down, write a check or pull out their check card, and put something behind the support is huge!  Equally huge have been people willing to give of their time to come help – like with the garage sale and cleanup.  Whether it was one hour or 20 hours, it meant so much to us!  I’ve learned that support and prayer is huge, but being willing to back it up with SOMETHING – time or money - is such a blessing to the giver and the receiver!

Because of seeing it on this side, I’m going to try to give more try to be less mindful of what I think I can do and more mindful of what God would have me do.  When someone needs even just an hour of my time to help with a project, I’m going to really work on thinking outside of my immediate little world and giving the hour.  When someone has a financial need, God prompts our hearts, and He gives us the desire to give, I’m going to work on loosening the vice grip on my wallet with the budget numbers flashing before my eyes and instead praying through what God would have us do – which shouldn’t be the cheapest way out either.  Can’t say how much I’ll be doing this while we’re still in the adoption raising money process.  But even in a tight budget, there’s always wiggle room. 

The fact of the matter is that giving is infectious!  Think about it this way.  A man is walking down the road and is carrying a huge load on his back.  He calls out and asks several people for help; people encourage him and tell him he’s doing a great job, but nobody actually lightens his load.  He makes it there, but he used a lot more time and energy than he thought he would.  He’s TIRED and discouraged.  On his trip back home, he sees someone else with a heavy load calling for help.  He wants to help, but you know, he had to carry his own load, he’s tired, and you know what?  The next time he has to carry a big load, nobody will probably be there to help him so he better just conserve his energy.  Do you see how it’s a cyclical problem?  If everyone would give a little, our world could be the place that God desired it to be!  1 John 3:16 – 19 says, “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.  So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?  Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.  Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.”

My prayer is that God continues to make Jason and I more aware of the wiggle areas in our finances and time.  That He will give us wisdom to recognize when He wants us to give and the ways to make that happen.  And I’m still in awe that while I think we’re just going through the adoption process that God is teaching us so many other things that I know will carry beyond this one time period.  God’s good like that!